Nerves

Today I have been getting increasingly anxious about the trip. This is the summer break in Africa and so I have struggled to get contact from people I am networking with and doing some work for. I know pretty much what 70% of my schedule will be - but being a tad "autistic" - the lack of exact clarity is proving tough. That said though - by early next week - the details should be firmed up.

I have also been thinking about the teaching at the University of KwaZulu-Natal & as yet I have no idea how many people I will be addressing or what the pitch of the lectures should be. I use a lot of anecdotes in my teaching sessions and it has occurred to me that perhaps some of the stories I use to illustrate the issues - may seems a bit lame by comparison. After all - those cinicians working in either community or residential settings in Africa - will surely face quite a different (and probably more challenging) set of issues that I do. Working in rural Warwickshire is likely a world away - from Africa. But all I can do is my best. One way to avoid the dilemma - would be to keep lectures very academic. But I always thought that was boring. Real stories about real people - are a much better way to illustrate a potentially boring theoretical point. Still - hopefully soon - I will have some clarity.

From what I can establish from a lecturer at the above University (who incidentally has been a fantastic help in this crusade of mine) there is no dedicated Learning Disability Nurse Training. Instead - only metal health. And when qualified - people often work as qualified nurses in Learning Disability specific services. There isn't a lot I can do to address that in a few days teaching - but I hope to stir up a little passion (or interest at the very least) in the speciality.

And so today has been fraught with "what ifs". I estimate to be working about at least 18 of the 28 I will be there. I don't do "nothing or sitting still" at all well. I guess that years of just rushing around - multi-tasking & spinning plates - has made it hard for me to really relax. That said though - what did begin to calm me a little today when I was in dire need of a "beta-blocker" to bring me "down a gear" - was looking at the photograph of the view from the balcony of the accomodation I am staying in. It really is bliss. So I guess part of the process too - will be learning to relax on the days when I am not booked. And while the prospect is a bit strange - I know I will have to learn. Going out for dinner alone or taking a walk in the dark - is not the done thing. I also hope to come back a better guitar player that I am when I leave?

I will post more when my schedule is firmed up & I am clear. In the meantime - I have some new chords to learn & new picking patterns to get my head around. But tonight when I go to sleep - I will try to remember the view from the balcony & not get anxious about all the unknowns.

Until nest time?

Kate